Right off the bat, this pregnancy was different. I remember on the morning of January 16th, 2018, I was cleaning the kitchen after breakfast. I wasn't feeling very well. It was that crampy, irritable, fatigued feeling a woman gets when she's about to start her period. I glanced at the calendar to look at the date and realized my period was a day late. I had been tracking my cycle very closely ever since my miscarriage, and it had eerily come every month on the 15th like clock-work. I knew in that very moment, even being just 1 day late, that I was pregnant.
I happened to have an unopened pregnancy test in the bathroom.
I happened to have an unopened pregnancy test in the bathroom.
I waited until I needed to go, then peed on the stick.
It was positive!
Having had a miscarriage just four months ago, I wasn't exactly eager to announce the pregnancy. I had my doubts as to whether or not this one would "stick." I told my husband of course, but we kept it between the two of us for 13 long weeks.
It was very hard to keep the pregnancy quiet because I was terribly sick. In public, I put on a happy face and pretended like I wasn't enduring the worst morning sickness of my life (that's coming from the experience of 6 former pregnancies.) On one hand, I was surprised by how sick I was. On the other hand, I was relieved to have this visible sign of pregnancy. I knew being so sick was a good sign that the baby was alive. Another reason it was hard to keep the pregnancy a secret was because I started showing very quickly. Normally I have no problem "hiding" my pregnancies as I don't really show until about 16-20 weeks. But by 12 weeks, it was already very obvious. I couldn't believe how fast my belly grew this time! In fact, when we did finally make the announcement, many people asked us, "Is it twins? You're so big already!"
I waited a little while to call the hospital this time. Generally the initial in-take appointment (basically just confirming the pregnancy & getting into the system) is at 6 weeks, and then the first actual OB appointment is at 12 weeks. Having had two miscarriages, I was a little tired of going through all the blood draws and paperwork and vaginal exams for essentially nothing. I wanted to make sure this pregnancy was not going to end in a miscarriage before I put myself through all that again! So I waited until I was 10 weeks before calling to schedule an appointment. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that they would be booked out for the next 7 weeks. My first appointment was not until I was 17 weeks.
Meanwhile my belly was growing rapidly, I gained weight faster than I had with any other pregnancy, and my symptoms were more intense than previous pregnancies. Already, I was getting out of breath easily. I was having bloody noses on a daily basis. My skin itched so badly that I was becoming worried. My back was hurting and I was getting exhausted just doing simple tasks around the house. Some days, all I could do was stay in bed. I simply didn't have any energy at all and I was constantly uncomfortable. I felt cramped on the inside.
"Wow," I thought. "Being pregnant at 30 is way harder than it was in my 20s!"
I was relieved when I was finally able to go to the doctor. At my appointment, I mentioned to the doctor how eager I was to hear the heartbeat. She said, "Actually, I think we should pull the ultrasound machine in and check on the baby's growth!" Even better! I was so excited that I was getting an ultrasound -- it felt like a sweet reward after waiting so long for the appointment.
When I was lying on the table, I felt a little worried. What if something is wrong? What if the heart isn't beating? She flipped the machine on and put the wand to my belly. The screen was turned away from me, so I just stared at the ceiling and said a prayer. I felt the wand sliding over my belly. First here, then there. I heard the doctor pushing the button to take pictures. But she didn't say a word and she seemed a little tense. "This is strange," I thought. I had an uneasy feeling.
The doctor spoke, "Have you had an ultrasound during this pregnancy before?"
"No," I replied. "This is my first appointment and first ultrasound with this pregnancy."
She paused again. I was sure something was wrong.
"Do twins run in your family?" She asked.
"Yes..." I said, a little taken aback. "My great-grandmother had twins."
"Well, you're going to have twins, too!" She turned the screen toward me. There were TWO babies on the screen! I couldn't believe it! I immediately started crying and thought of how I wanted twins, I had prayed for twins, I had suspected I was having twins but didn't want to get my hopes up. My husband had even dreamed that we were having twins, my mom thought I was having twins, and so many people had mentioned "twins" to us... It was true!
Both babies were moving a lot, but I didn't feel a thing. The doctor showed me how the placenta was up against the uterine wall, so I couldn't feel their movements. She showed me how each baby was in its own sac, but how they were sharing only one placenta. She said they might be monozygotic twins, also known as identical.
It was positive!
Having had a miscarriage just four months ago, I wasn't exactly eager to announce the pregnancy. I had my doubts as to whether or not this one would "stick." I told my husband of course, but we kept it between the two of us for 13 long weeks.
It was very hard to keep the pregnancy quiet because I was terribly sick. In public, I put on a happy face and pretended like I wasn't enduring the worst morning sickness of my life (that's coming from the experience of 6 former pregnancies.) On one hand, I was surprised by how sick I was. On the other hand, I was relieved to have this visible sign of pregnancy. I knew being so sick was a good sign that the baby was alive. Another reason it was hard to keep the pregnancy a secret was because I started showing very quickly. Normally I have no problem "hiding" my pregnancies as I don't really show until about 16-20 weeks. But by 12 weeks, it was already very obvious. I couldn't believe how fast my belly grew this time! In fact, when we did finally make the announcement, many people asked us, "Is it twins? You're so big already!"
I waited a little while to call the hospital this time. Generally the initial in-take appointment (basically just confirming the pregnancy & getting into the system) is at 6 weeks, and then the first actual OB appointment is at 12 weeks. Having had two miscarriages, I was a little tired of going through all the blood draws and paperwork and vaginal exams for essentially nothing. I wanted to make sure this pregnancy was not going to end in a miscarriage before I put myself through all that again! So I waited until I was 10 weeks before calling to schedule an appointment. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that they would be booked out for the next 7 weeks. My first appointment was not until I was 17 weeks.
Meanwhile my belly was growing rapidly, I gained weight faster than I had with any other pregnancy, and my symptoms were more intense than previous pregnancies. Already, I was getting out of breath easily. I was having bloody noses on a daily basis. My skin itched so badly that I was becoming worried. My back was hurting and I was getting exhausted just doing simple tasks around the house. Some days, all I could do was stay in bed. I simply didn't have any energy at all and I was constantly uncomfortable. I felt cramped on the inside.
"Wow," I thought. "Being pregnant at 30 is way harder than it was in my 20s!"
I was relieved when I was finally able to go to the doctor. At my appointment, I mentioned to the doctor how eager I was to hear the heartbeat. She said, "Actually, I think we should pull the ultrasound machine in and check on the baby's growth!" Even better! I was so excited that I was getting an ultrasound -- it felt like a sweet reward after waiting so long for the appointment.
When I was lying on the table, I felt a little worried. What if something is wrong? What if the heart isn't beating? She flipped the machine on and put the wand to my belly. The screen was turned away from me, so I just stared at the ceiling and said a prayer. I felt the wand sliding over my belly. First here, then there. I heard the doctor pushing the button to take pictures. But she didn't say a word and she seemed a little tense. "This is strange," I thought. I had an uneasy feeling.
The doctor spoke, "Have you had an ultrasound during this pregnancy before?"
"No," I replied. "This is my first appointment and first ultrasound with this pregnancy."
She paused again. I was sure something was wrong.
"Do twins run in your family?" She asked.
"Yes..." I said, a little taken aback. "My great-grandmother had twins."
"Well, you're going to have twins, too!" She turned the screen toward me. There were TWO babies on the screen! I couldn't believe it! I immediately started crying and thought of how I wanted twins, I had prayed for twins, I had suspected I was having twins but didn't want to get my hopes up. My husband had even dreamed that we were having twins, my mom thought I was having twins, and so many people had mentioned "twins" to us... It was true!
Both babies were moving a lot, but I didn't feel a thing. The doctor showed me how the placenta was up against the uterine wall, so I couldn't feel their movements. She showed me how each baby was in its own sac, but how they were sharing only one placenta. She said they might be monozygotic twins, also known as identical.
They were measuring at about 18 weeks, weighed about 1 pound each, and both had plenty of fluid in each of their sacs. All good things!
I was in disbelief that for the past 4 months I had been carrying TWINS inside me and had not known it (sometimes suspected it, but not really known) and that they had been growing and developing so perfectly in complete silence. I felt the hand of God so strongly in that moment, and felt so much gratitude. How could I ever express adequate thanks for such a beautiful gift? I couldn't; there are no words!
I was referred to "complicated OB" and they scheduled my two-hour anatomy scan two weeks from now. During that scan, each baby will get a thorough examination and they will confirm whether they are monozygotic or dizygotic, and what the genders are. (Edit to add: two placentas were seen at a later ultrasound and the twins were determined to be fraternal, not identical.)
I alternate between feelings of surprise, utter joy, and overwhelm. I keep asking myself, "How do I comfort two crying babies at once? Do I need a double stroller, or would a single suffice since I can wear one and push the other? Can I really handle the laundry of two newborns in cloth diapers?" So many questions! This is new territory for us, but still a very exciting journey. We love them both so much already and can't wait to busily navigate this new adventure with them.
I was in disbelief that for the past 4 months I had been carrying TWINS inside me and had not known it (sometimes suspected it, but not really known) and that they had been growing and developing so perfectly in complete silence. I felt the hand of God so strongly in that moment, and felt so much gratitude. How could I ever express adequate thanks for such a beautiful gift? I couldn't; there are no words!
I was referred to "complicated OB" and they scheduled my two-hour anatomy scan two weeks from now. During that scan, each baby will get a thorough examination and they will confirm whether they are monozygotic or dizygotic, and what the genders are. (Edit to add: two placentas were seen at a later ultrasound and the twins were determined to be fraternal, not identical.)
I alternate between feelings of surprise, utter joy, and overwhelm. I keep asking myself, "How do I comfort two crying babies at once? Do I need a double stroller, or would a single suffice since I can wear one and push the other? Can I really handle the laundry of two newborns in cloth diapers?" So many questions! This is new territory for us, but still a very exciting journey. We love them both so much already and can't wait to busily navigate this new adventure with them.
I feel so happy that twins get to be part of our story.
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