I sit down to write this on the final day of May. I just nursed the two-year-old to sleep, laid her in the bed, cracked the window, and sat down at my desk with a steaming mug of tea and tiny cup of chocolate chips. A cool breeze is gently fluttering the curtains, a rabbit is nibbling on something in the yard, and a light but silent rain falls.
This month the children asked me if they could make youtube videos. I said yes, and also agreed to assist them. We began to bring our camera on our adventures and to film our days, after which I would edit the footage into something cohesive before uploading it to our channel. We made videos at the park, the nature center, the lake, the library, the children's museum, and the farm. We made videos of us baking and having tea, making popsicles and eating them, and even trying to potty train Isabelle. The kids also acted out a couple of little skits. It's been a lot of fun for all of us. I am certain that I will cherish the memories in these videos for years.
On May 7th, our parish had its annual May Crowning. And on May 13th, we had a Marian Procession in honor of the 100th year of Fatima.
Anja was given her first recital piece. She memorized it quickly and played it well at her very first recital. Although she said she was not nervous, she clearly was once she was on the stage. However, she did not let her nerves get the best of her and she played her song very well, and from memory. She has an amazing capacity for memorization.
On May 10th, we went to tour the kids' new school. I have to confess I was quite charmed by it. I like that it's small, and I enjoy being in the presence of the nuns. They have a peaceful, serene air about them. Always smiling and cheerful, always gracious and humble. The children are very excited for school to start in August, and I am very relieved that I can take a break from homeschooling. I feel so worn down and overwhelmed, I know I cannot press on, and I am confident that I am making the right decision by surrendering control of my children's education over to them.
They take placement tests next week, to confirm grade levels. They've always been homeschooled where grades are mostly irrelevant, so I want them tested just to be sure they get put at the right level.
On May 11th, I turned 30-years-old. A few days later it was Mothers Day.
On May 16th, we finished reading Return of the King. We finished the entire trilogy. This is no small feat with small children. It took us five months to read all three books. I am so happy that we did. I feel like we can accomplish any book we want now!
We had a couple "fun" reads after diving so deeply into such heavy works: The Tale of Despereaux and then Matilda. Now we've started on Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea.
Meanwhile, I have quite a stack of my own books going. I am still plodding through The Ordinary Path to Holiness, but I'm afraid I'm too terribly distracted by The Benedict Option at the moment to make much progress in any of my other books. I wasn't sure what to expect of this book having read so many negative reviews, but I think it's good.
The following Monday, the 29th, was Memorial Day, which he had off from work. We decided to drive down to the National Sanctuary of Our Sorrowful Mother, also known as The Grotto. The last time we were there was two years ago and I made my husband pose with our daughter to recreate this photo in front of a statue of St. Joseph. I remember when the first photo was taken: he had recently come into the Catholic Church and chosen St. Joseph as his confirmation saint.
My husband is disabled, although usually it's hard to tell... sometimes the pain flares up intensely and then you can really tell. For most of our day at the Grotto, I was pushing him in a wheelchair. I felt such a mixture of emotions doing this. This man who has always been so reliably strong, who used to pick me up effortlessly with one arm, who I felt completely safe next to because I was sure he could take down a bear if needed - in a wheelchair, at 30. The impact of it all made me feel very emotional.
There I was, an individual who struggles profoundly with depression, pushing her disabled husband in a wheelchair, our disabled daughter walking unsteadily beside us, our anxiety-filled, sensory-sensitive son fearfully on the lookout for the next harmless thing that is surely going to threaten his life, and our oldest son (perhaps the only "normal" one among us) chasing down our insanely wild, high-spirited, abundantly-animated toddler. I have a lot on my plate, I thought.
 |
Then Jesus told his disciples,
"If any man would come after me,
let him deny himself
and take up his cross
and follow me."
Comments
Post a Comment